


only kindness matters

by manesalex



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Alex Manes Deserves Nice Things, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Michael Guerin Loves Alex Manes, POV Michael Guerin, References to Abuse, References to Assault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 04:14:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30015993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/manesalex/pseuds/manesalex
Summary: Michael knows how lucky he is to be with Alex.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 13
Kudos: 77





	only kindness matters

Michael still remembers Jesse Manes’s hands perfectly. The way they looked, tight around Alex’s throat, the feelings of fear and rage he felt, that need to protect that he only ever felt for Isobel and Max until that moment, and, even then, not nearly as strongly.

He remembers the weight of one of them on his wrist moments before Jesse brought the hammer against Michael’s own hand.

He fully realizes how miraculous it is that someone like Alex came from someone like that. The kindest person he's ever known came from the worst monster he's ever met and, if anything, that knowledge just makes him love Alex even more.

Alex has never been anything like his father, using his hands to create, rather than destroy. Michael remembers watching his hands when he was a teenager, telling himself he was just trying to learn the guitar from the way Alex’s fingers pressed against the strings, ignoring the fact that he had been more fascinated by the shape of them, the way he painted his nails, the rings he wore, than any technical skills he was supposed to be learning.

Michael only realized why Alex's hands fascinated him so much when Alex touched him for the first time. Just a brush of fingers against his skin and Michael felt the chaos in his mind settle for just a moment. And then Alex was gone and it came roaring back and Michael wondered whether he imagined it entirely.

He remembers months later, sitting in the back of his truck under the summer sun, Alex's hands in his lap as Michael carefully removed Alex's nailpolish. It had taken every bit of self control he had not to lift Alex's hands to his lips and lick and suck each long finger until it was clean. Instead, he focused on putting on fresh coats of the black polish Alex favored back then, trying to make them as perfect and neat as Alex always managed to make them look.

He remembers laying in the bed of his truck, Alex's fingers mindlessly brushing through his curls as he dreamed about running away with Alex, marrying him, and starting a family with him. Even then, he was sure it was just a dream. He knew he could never leave his siblings behind, even if he wanted nothing more than to build a life with Alex.

Now Michael more often watches as Alex’s fingers fly over the keyboard, focusing on doing what he can to protect Michael, as well as his siblings. He watches Alex use the training his father wanted him to get, the training from the military, the thing that took Alex from him so long, to dismantle his father’s legacy, to keep Michael with him.

He knows Alex is able to use those beautiful hands for destruction as well, remembers it every time he wakes to Alex crying out in his sleep, every time his own hands ache to comfort Alex, even as he waits for Alex’s permission after he wakes, not wanting to make things worse. He still remembers Alex telling him that he fears everything he’s had to do has turned him into his father, but Michael knows better.

He knows what Alex chooses to do, who he chooses to be. How, even though he hasn’t spoken more than a few sentences to Maria, avoiding her ever since Michael started dating her that second time, he takes the time to revamp The Wild Pony’s website, to make sure it’s up to date and will draw new customers. He may still be hurting, though he’ll never admit it, but he won’t let himself hurt those he loves, even when they’ve hurt him.

He sees the way Alex holds the punching bag while Isobel trains, the way he gently guides her movement with his hands, showing her how to defend herself with her body and not just her powers. He knows that Alex uses his own training to make Isobel feel safer, to show her how capable she is of taking care of herself.

He takes note of how, when Max and Michael are arguing and Max is storming toward him, Alex steps between them and places one hand just an inch from Max’s chest, a warning and a reminder that Alex won’t stand by and watch anyone hurt Michael. He knows Alex could take Max down in about half a second if he truly wanted to but that Alex doesn’t want to hurt anyone. He just wants to protect Michael from pain.

He watches the way Alex hugs Liz when they meet up for coffee, the way he instantly reaches out to right a wobbling tray when Max steps inside the Crashdown and Liz falters for just a moment, the way he puts a reassuring hand on her arm. He can’t always protect the people he loves from pain, but Michael knows he wants them to know they’re not alone, that he wants to support them however he can.

He’s aware that Alex invites Rosa over when she’s struggling, knows the patient way Alex will sit still and play the guitar with her, helping her focus on something else when she’s most desperate for a drink. He generally gives them privacy, but he’s heard the way Alex makes her laugh and the way she does the same for him in return.

He even sees how Alex will pat Kyle on the shoulder, offering comfort to the man who made high school hell for him as a boy. Alex, of course, says that Kyle has changed, that they’ve all changed. Alex gives second and third chances so easily that it leaves Michael in awe, well aware of how fortunate he is to be loved by someone so good, someone who somehow sees the best in everyone he knows.

Michael loves how Alex pulls him behind him to meet Mimi Deluca, telling Michael that she was more of a mother to Alex than his own mother had ever been and he wants to introduce Michael to her. He watches Alex help her rearrange her shawl, notices the way he blushes and reaches for Michael when Mimi comments about how happy Michael makes him. How he deserves that. And the way his blush deepens and he tightens his grip on Michael’s hand when Michael agrees with her.

Most of all, he’s amazed by the way Alex touches him. The way Alex carefully massages his hand because it still hurts, even after Max healed it. The way his long, elegant fingers move over Michael’s fingers, pausing if Michael so much as flinches or makes a noise, waiting for Michael to tell him he can continue. The way he pulls Michael in for kisses, graceful hands sliding into his hair. The way he touches him so gently, as if he’s afraid to hurt him. Michael has never felt precious to anyone before. Not until Alex.

But his favorite thing is the way Alex slides his hand into Michael’s as they walk into the Crashdown to meet their friends, the way Alex claims Michael as his with his touch, the way he keeps in contact with him in public. He may never enjoy public displays of affection, but he always makes it perfectly clear that he’s proud to be with Michael.

That is, that was his favorite thing until he sees the way Alex holds their baby daughter, the way his hands tremble as he reaches for her when Michael suggests he take her, the way he hesitates, as if he’s afraid of hurting her. As if he still fears that his hands are too much like his father’s. But, when Michael places her in his hands, she settles down instantly and looks up at Alex with complete trust. He’ll happily spend the rest of his life trying to convince Alex that he deserves that trust, that he isn’t like his father, that Jesse Manes’s cruelty will never touch their little girl.

So, when Alex eventually mentions that he still sees his father in the mirror some days, after everything he’s had to do, Michael tells him all these things. He points out that Jesse chose to hurt people he was supposed to love and how Alex is only ever caring toward and protective of those he holds most dear. That their daughter will grow up happy and aware of how loved she is because Alex shows her that love every day.

Maybe Alex will never accept it, not really, but Michael is more than happy to keep reminding him that he is the best of humanity and that Michael is aware every single day of how lucky he is to be married to Alex, to be able to start a family with him.

Michael is pulled out of his thoughts by their daughter's peals of laughter. He glances over to the kitchen table to see her coating Alex's nails, as well as the skin around them, in bright pink polish. He knows that, now that he's finally out of the Air Force, Alex will keep it on his fingers until it either chips off on its own or Nora decides that pink is no longer her favorite color and that everyone's nails need to be blue or purple or green. Seeing Nora painting Alex's nails reminds Michael of a summer almost two decades ago when Alex let Michael paint his nails, the way he gently reassured him if he accidentally smudged them or got too much on his skin. Back then, Michael had only dreamed he'd get to have this someday.

"I think it's your turn next, Michael," Alex says, his voice amused. He turns to Nora, "What color are you going to paint Papa's nails?"

While Nora digs through her truly obscene collection of polishes for the perfect shade of pink, Michael makes his way over to his two favorite people, sitting down next to Alex and grabbing his left hand, pressing a kiss over the silver ring he placed there almost eight years ago. Alex just blushes and squeezes his hand in response before leaning into him, their fingers intertwined.


End file.
